And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
