she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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