If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize