SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
