hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
as a side note pls kill me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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