apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
