So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
