I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
