Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
