I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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