I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
