im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
