hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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