Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize