Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
