ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The air was thick with penises
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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