She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
