the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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