So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Randomize
