i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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