I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
