I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize