I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
