you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
