i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
