One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
