Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
