Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
