You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
