I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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