meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
