sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
