And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
