I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh god it's open bar.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
