he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
No subtext here. People are naked.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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