I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
