We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
