Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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