i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
