Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Houston, we have a squirter
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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