I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Did you just see the Batmobile???
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
