do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
