apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
