I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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