There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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