I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize