hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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