yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
