Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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