Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm really into asian looking animals
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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