There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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