Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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