he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
