Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Reggie can tackle my bush.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
