Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
