Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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