You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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