did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
